You sound sensible. But I tell you what. I would rather vaguely notice that they MAY be a screen protector on than notice there are scratches on my brand new $750 phone. I have little scratches and one HUGE scratch on the back of my iphone. I've had this one 2 years. But guess what? All I have to do is change the screen protector. $10 bucks and I'm good to go. The small scratches I have no clue how they got there. The huge one was while taking it out of the case. The iPhone 4 I had before lived in a pouch. I took care of it a lot. A scratch appeared on the screen. I have no clue to this day how. I went from my empty pocket to my couch. Never put it on its face. Ever. Same thing. But one I can just change the screen film. The other one I sold it with the scratch. As for the other thing. I just find the OP hilarious and totally deluded.