My reason for being the best choice to receive this free case needs more than a sentence or two. Read on:
On the way home from work the other day I stopped at my local VZW store to purchase a case for my Droid. Having owned it for over a month - it was beginning to show the telltale signs of use. Suffering from OCD, I knew I’d have to do something soon or I’d not be able to hold this phone in my sensitive hands much longer without protection from all the germs, bug doodie, ozone fallout and all the other bacterial vermin floating around in the air. Plus, the Droid in naked state is one slippery bugger - I needed some texture for a better grip!
So - first I tried for the sympathy freebie tact. Told the store manager that I’d spent my last buck just to upgrade to this phone, and what with all the data monthly fees and miscellaneous taxes, etc., I could not afford a penny more for a cover. Could he comp me a cover since I’d been a faithful subscriber for over twenty years? Nope. Not a budge. No way. Fork up or hit the road jack! Realizing this was going to take something a bit heavier - I went into my story mode. Told them how on the way to the store, I was paged (I’m the Captain of our First Aid Squad) to cover a working structure fire in which a nearby factory was fully engulfed in flames. How I arrived at the scene only to discover twelve men were trapped inside the towering inferno - no possible escape. How I grabbed a jacket and helmet from the back of one of the fire rigs, and pushing those in my path aside I ran into the ravaging flames. How I managed to locate the first two injured factory workers, and carrying one on each shoulder managed to work my way back out to fresh air and dump them on the ground in front of rescue workers.
How I was totally exhausted from that chore (both men weighed in excess of 230 pounds) but still turned and raced back inside. Found three this time, barely conscious and choking from the flames, soot and smoke. How I once again wrestled two up onto my shoulders, and grabbing the third by his belt and pulled all three out to safety. How I once more turned to go back inside. This time a wall of men stood in my path - yelling at me that I had already performed a miracle and saved five - the building was beginning to collapse and it would be insane to go back in. They all linked hands to form a solid wall of men determined to stop my suicidal attempt to re-enter the building. But I was not to be stopped this day. Throwing myself onto the ground, I quickly rolled between their legs and raced back into the hellish wrath that was now beginning to melt steel beams.
How I located a group of six more employees - all unconscious but still breathing. How I pulled up a rug off the floor and beat out the flames and with it still smoldering formed a huge pocket. Into this I rolled all six men. How I then grabbed one end of this makeshift gurney and with gasping breath began pulling them towards what appeared to be a break in the flames and thick smoke. How I managed, choking for air and weak from the herculean efforts of pulling six dead weight humans to the opening and rolled it across the threshold of a downed wall, into the welcome arms of cheering firemen. How I fell to the ground myself, too succumbed and weak from exhaustion to hold myself erect.
How I heard men congratulating me - shouting appreciative words of thanks and clapping. I thought I was dying and would never be able to pick myself up again I was so totally spent and starved for clean oxygen - the acrid smoke ripping through my lungs like a serrated sword. And then I heard it. The cries and screams of a young twenty year old woman. "My husband! Oh my God! He's still inside! Please - someone help save my husband!" Her cries went unanswered - those around her averted their eyes. No mortal man could enter that building - it was now a pile of rubble with flames shooting over 200 feet into the air! The searing and intense flames drove the hordes of men back - further to the clear air a block away.
And then I suddenly found myself lurching to my feet - the adrenaline flowing and racing through my veins. Though my jacket was nothing more than a tattered remnant of torched material, my helmet lost somewhere in the darkness, my lungs bursting in their attempt to purify and give fresh oxygen to my wildly pumping heart - I knew it was up to me to save that poor man! Without any thought for my own safety - I once again headed into the fire. No racing this time. I was crawling - no strength to even stagger upright. But as my arms pulled my weakened and spent body foot by foot into the depths of hell, I suddenly heard a moan. Pushing further into the collapsed pile of thousand degree molten steel and flame shredded ashes - I suddenly felt the arm of a human body.
I knew it was him, and still alive as I heard the moan repeated. But this time I was too weak to lift, pull or even roll him out. So I placed my body over his. Using my own wasted body as a shield, I protected him from the havoc falling all around us. Though I was pummeled with flaming masses of carnage - I knew I had to protect this man at all costs!
Suddenly, I remembered my cell phone was still in my waist pocket. Fumbling weakly, I attempted to remove it from my pocket. Not happening. The oily smoke, sweat, grease and grime paid their toll - no way I could get a good grip and pull that naked phone out of my pocket! I was growing desperate, I just knew if I didn’t make a call we were both going to meet our demise - right there in that inferno from hell. So I kept trying - gripping, grasping, pinching and pulling. Finally, I managed to pull it loose and pressed number nine - the dedicated digit that would dial 911. I could not hear anything, the roaring of the fire was deafening! But I kept my finger pressed on the send button - hoping and praying that its signal would somehow broadcast my position to the outside world - perhaps miraculously notifying them that I had made it within and needed help. Moments of sheer terror passed, I was growing weaker. My breath began slowing down, dizziness began setting in. I was succumbing to death. Her fingers of eternal solitude were reaching ever higher, pulling me into her arms.
But suddenly I felt something wet on my cheek. Then more on my outstretched arms, bare as the material had all burned off my jacket. And with a sudden burst I was immediately engulfed in a tidal wave of cool, high pressure water, cascading over me and the surrounding area! Thousands of gallons of water were being jetted in a lofty stream all about me, and then I heard my name called. And through blurry and fuzzy eyes I suddenly saw arms reaching for me - first one pair and then another. And then a dozen pairs were lifting me and carrying me to safety. Somehow I found the strength to whisper a question - "did you get the other guy?" Yes came back the response - he's going to make it thanks to you! That was the last I heard before I fell into a coma.
Hours later, in the back of my local rescue unit I suddenly came to. Slowly looking around me - I found the rig surrounded with hundreds of rescue workers, all screaming, shouting and cheering - "he's alive! Thank God he's alive!" I asked for help getting to my feet. As I weakly stepped out one foot at a time - they were all trying to touch me - exclaiming in relief how I was a hero! All twelve men were alive and were safely transported to the local burn center where they would be treated and finally released - saved to continue their lives thanks to the actions of the hero of the day - yours truly... But tragedy won through. My poor Droid’s exterior had succumbed to the flames. No longer the shiny behemoth I had come to adore. Now it was flame licked, smoke tarnished and soot all packed into every crevice. To say nothing of the burnt and acrid smell that brought visions of horror to mind. Yea - this phone had suffered the anguish of fiery Hell! But not before it's signal had brought the troops to my location deep within the fire ravaged building. Though its exterior now looked like something akin to a bonfire of ashes, - it had served it's purpose and thanks to that signal, weak as it was - the men were able to follow and pinpoint my exact position as I had never let my finger release itself from the Send button. In my deteriorating state, I had never relinquished my vise like grip on that uncovered phone.
Back to the VZW store. This story was recounted exactly as it happened. But on deaf ears. Despite the heroic actions of myself and the suicidal last gasp of battery power of my naked Droid - the store employees would not give me a free case. Bastards! With that I just lost it! Turning around I walked outside - into my truck and drove straight to the Apple store down the street. Here they had already heard my heroic story - and embraced me as they immediately supplied me with a free iPhone with a beautiful, very grippy, textured protective cover on it. But, I couldn’t go through with it. I would not become a traitor for want of a mere case. That Droid had saved my life as well as the others - I owed it to all to stay with a Droid, cover or not. But...... it would be soooooo sweet if I could just find a way to acquire a cover. So sweet.
Yawn... Stretch.... Looking at my clock... Geez - it's already going on eleven o'clock? Hmm - I must have dozed off as soon as I got home. Weird dream. Something about a burning building. And a slippery, naked Droid. And lots of sirens. Oh - and an iPhone with custom flame graphics... Geez - I need a shower so's I can wake up here. Man am I ever tired!
I’m gonna hold my breath now. Perhaps, somewhere, somehow, someone will read this story and find it entertaining enough to gift me with a cover for my Droid. My heroic, but naked Droid... A hopeful, but naked Droid owner - cuskit
