Dealing with depression

[dezymond]

Thanks alot for sharing your story str8. That's honestly something I can't even imagine going through and that's easily tenfold if not more difficult than what has effected me.

Your situation started 4.5 years ago and still is continuing, you are a good man and a loving husband. You hear many stories of partners leaving due to their partner's lack of mental health and things, but for you to stay strong for the both of you is admirable. I'm sure it's not easy for either of you, but you definitely have my respect and best wishes for the both of you.

You keep your head up buddy. You need anyone to talk to or anything feel free to PM me.

 

[jntdroid]

Thanks for sharing Str8. My grandfather stuck by my grandmother through 15+ years of health problems before she died, in his arms... the only example I had of what true unconditional love for a spouse. It's encouraging to a young buck such as myself to see there are still men out there like that.

 

[pabowhunter]

I hope everything turns out well for him and his dad, they're really good people. I don't know either of them very well to be honest, but when he asked me to hang out with his kid for a day both were nothing but open and kind to me. I felt I did the right thing by trying to help out his kid and giving him some time to go out himself, but the situation just took a bad turn obviously. I know the kid was going through alot, especially in school (missed 2 months of school for therapy) so maybe that got to him, but I don't know the details. It just hit home pretty hard for me, makes me thankful for everything I have and my health. Guess it was a "wake up call" for me. Just needed to vent and figure someone might have gone through the same thing or knows someone who is.

Honorable thing you are doing for the kid... I take my hat off to ya lad...

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[pabowhunter]

Dez,

Good on ya for being there! We are all just a breath away from anything that could be devastating to our physical and mental health. The age it happens is of no consequence, especially if the person is close. I understand where you are coming from about this young man, though.

My wife called me at my office about 4 1/2 years ago and told me to get home now or she would not be alive when I did get there. She had had enough of poor health, doctors, surgeries, hospitals, etc. and they had basically told her that there is nothing more to be done. She was an RN and ended up no longer able to work in 1995. Since the loss of work, she has undergone a lot, the worst of it being the loss of a functioning immune system. Everything she wanted to see as we grew older was vaporizing and she broke down.

I blasted home, unsure of what I was going to walk in on. It took four days to get her into the mental health facility because it was Thanksgiving. The only thing I could do is hold her, listen and try to keep her calm. I am not like you with some training - I work with resistors, capacitors, transistors and all sorts of electronic components. She spent a week in there and they finally found the meds that worked for her. She has worked through the therapies with the psych and counselors and can function daily, although a shadow of the woman that she used to be. She is very inattentive, slow to react or comment but underneath is loving. I have been her cheerleader and advisor. She can no longer drive since the episode due to all the narcotics plus other drugs she takes for all the other maladies. It will test a man and the result will be seen what kind of man one is.

Good advice from 94lt1 about an outlet or hobby, if anyone else is going through this. I am now studying for A+ with networking studies to come after. Open Source and Android trip my trigger, so I decided that a career change this far along in life is OK. I also ride my mountain bike or hike or shoot my bow when I have the opportunity.
The sun comes up and the sun goes down and the whole world keeps spinning round and round! Make the best of every day everybody!

God love both of u.... and bless

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[Str8Aro]

Thanks for the kind words. I believe that we all, if healthy, can reach down inside and stand up and do the right thing for people but having support from others makes the "road" smoother! I think it is a wonderful thing that we have the internet and it's mediums to share on today. In another year, I will see my sixth decade (but I still feel youthful). We didn't have as much as calculators in common use when I was in high school and could not have imagined the technology in the world of today. If I can encourage anyone or just converse, PM me.

 

[sweat90lx]

dealt with depression most of my adult life and my health is garbage from my genetics, mostly cholesterol and allergies. This past year got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis(basically same as chrones disease). Life is better for me without taking any depression meds. I have days where I "cant get right", simple things that I cant remember.
I create huge projects to keep my mind occupied, but having someone to listen and understand always helps. my close friends know I have lost weight and know I will not eat unless I am at home, but only a few actually know or care why that is
talk with the kid all you can, it may help more than you know

 

[dezymond]

Thanks for sharing sweat, and if you need someone to talk to I'm willing to listen

As for the kid, that's why I wanted to hang out with him. It may have just been "ok I gotta watch this kid for a bit and hopefully we got some common interests" for most people my age, but to him it may have been another friend or someone to talk to. Now as I said before that "babysitting" him wasn't my goal, I wanted to make a connection and for him to know that he has another person supporting him. Unfortunately I can't get in touch with him as he's checked back into rehab, but as soon as he's out I'm sure his dad will contact me again (hopefully). I don't know the details, but I told his dad that if he ever needed anything from me he should not hesitate to ask.

 

[94lt1]

Yes sweat. That took guts. And im with dezy on this. Need someone to talk to, give me a shout anytime.

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[Quicksilver7714]

Dez, that's awful. I feel for the kid especially with a closed head injury. It just makes things many times harder.

Didn't know you were a psych major, currently thinking about going that way my self.

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[kparks]

Just be there maybe spend more time with him.. I'm pissed at the coach just let him know everything will get better

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[altspeed]

I've battled depression for about 30 years and what most people never grasp is that there is a huge difference between depression and sadness. Sadness is what normal people experience after an adverse life event. Depression is chronic with acute episodes and no external cause. It literally took my GREAT doctors 15 years and the advent of new medicines (SSRIs) to figure out the right combination of anti-depressants and anxiolytics to make me both functional and comfortable. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) won't help at all, but friends and non-patronizing interaction is invaluable. In truth most depressed people (untreated) are hardly ever noticeably sad because they become numb to extremes and experience a leveling effect called "flat affect", never experiencing real joy or sadness. The correct medications in the correct dosages will gradually improve emotional and mental functioning. It's all about patience. Don't give up a week (or year(s)) before the miracle. All the advice in the previous posts is relatively sound, but a lot of it is based on seriously flawed rationale. Behavior modification or clinical talk is useless.

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[dezymond]

Dez, that's awful. I feel for the kid especially with a closed head injury. It just makes things many times harder.

Didn't know you were a psych major, currently thinking about going that way my self.

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Yup, another 2 semesters and hopefully I'll be done.

If you're going into psych and got any questions feel free to ask. It's very interesting stuff, but don't let a basic general psych give you the impression it's going to be easy, it gets a little overwhelming sometimes (could just be my school though). I've always wanted to work with people instead of computers (I was originally an EE major, big change huh) and my major now will allow it. Good luck deciding! It wasn't easy for me to switch but I'm alot happier with the education I'm getting than I was at first.

 

[Quicksilver7714]

Yup, another 2 semesters and hopefully I'll be done.

If you're going into psych and got any questions feel free to ask. It's very interesting stuff, but don't let a basic general psych give you the impression it's going to be easy, it gets a little overwhelming sometimes (could just be my school though). I've always wanted to work with people instead of computers (I was originally an EE major, big change huh) and my major now will allow it. Good luck deciding! It wasn't easy for me to switch but I'm alot happier with the education I'm getting than I was at first.

I've already taken the basic intro course and Abnormal Psych. I really enjoyed abnormal. There's so much there I really want to take the class again, lol.

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[dezymond]

I've already taken the basic intro course and Abnormal Psych. I really enjoyed abnormal. There's so much there I really want to take the class again, lol.

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Taking that class this semester, real interesting stuff. Child psychology is also interesting to me because it's such a "unsure" (can't think of any better words right now) field. If you can take a class like that I highly recommend it, it's great.

 

[altspeed]

Its strange what paths get us where we end up, I started college and got to 8th semester, near graduation, as a Social Psychology major with minors in Sociology and Anthropology. At the University I was attending at the time the behavioral sciences department, senior students and faculty, were all quite close and a very inbred social group. I was senior fellow on a stipend and occasionally did freshmen soc and psych and anthro lectures when the respective profs needed a couple of hours off, etc etc, so I was the one person that was in constant daily contact with everyone on a daily basis, my desk/rathole was next to the coffee machine. All of us that were nearing graduation started putting together senior theses, all of them required a lot of number crunching (stats). I was the one that chose to wander over to the comp sci dept and the comp lab to learn how to facilitate crunching everybody's numbers since I was the only one even vaguely friendly with math. Never came back, computers (Unix on DEC hardware and Solaris) minimized my actually having to interact with people at all, I just needed people to bring me data to work my magic on..... So instead of going from systems to people I went the opposite way after my meds were all in effect and balanced (late 90s) for me to be able to get joy from singular entities like people and math/physics environments as well.