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Give it a day or two, VZW's update system isn't as quick as we'd like. Alternatively, there is a thread around here somewhere about manually updating I believe...
I didn't even think to ask about the OS when I bought my phone last week. It updated itself before I could even drive home--I didn't have to do anything to initiate it. So yours may just spontaneously update itself as well.
Just be patient. A coworker brought in his brand new droid that he bought for his son today so I could show him some things. It has the old software and I was about to manually install when the pop up came through saying there was an update. installed without issue.
Actually, some stores will. The reason they don't want us to is because it will erase all of your data on the phone. If you're ok with that, take it to your local store and let them know you are ok with losing info from your phone. It is at their discretion if they want to do it or not, keep that in mind.