not to be over dramatic, but so happy I could cry! wish I remembered in full detail what I just did though, However I just woke up and probably shouldn't have been doing anything on my phone, but yea I seemed to have fixed the issue
so by using SD Maid Pro, I managed to ruin my gallery albums, meaning nothing was showing up, did some research online and it suggested deleting a few folders, well I deleted those and then I deleted a few more that did some to be music related, com.something.media and 2 others all seemingly related to music, I wish I was keeping track of what I deleted so that I could tell others who may run into this same issue I did
but bottom line is I have my gallery working again, and all my music is there after each reboot... and here's the kicker! it is there INSTANTLY! before I would have to wait 20 minutes to 4 hours before all my music showed up in the default music app or winamp and well half the time it would not show up at all
I hate to speak too soon again, but wow does this really feel like it is fixed! another thing I noticed which means it is reading the media from my sd card instantly again (and well it only did this on all roms previous to this, this is the first time it is doing it on this rom =) is that for my custom ringtones and notifications, after every reboot the would disappear and switch to another system sound or go silent, but after 3 reboots just now, all my settings are preserved as far as custom ringtones and notifications
so more so then ever it really feels like the issue is fixed, I deleted about 3 folders related to music, but again I only vaguely remember 1 of them
also how would I have ever known this would have fixed the issue... I just figured what the hell at this point! =D
OH well, just wanted to update everyone, wish this post was more helpful in terms of what I did though
of course I will update again if it stops working, but this looks really, really promising! :biggrin: