So, I called VZW support yesterday. Went through level 1 and 2 there, then got transferred to Moto, who used Rescue for Android to remote control my phone. He screwed sound for over 2 hours, and gave up. Apparently, they are blaming FB. He said "Facebook just doesn't work with the JB widget".
At this point, I give up, too. The "1x1 contact" widgets work fine, so I am adding them to my home screen. The good news is that you can stack them on top of each other to make a group, just like you do with applications. in the end, I now have a folder with all of my favorites instead of a widget that I have to swipe down. It takes about the same number of key presses to get to my contacts this way, so I'm happy.
My guess is that they fix the fav contacts widget soon.
I am just curious, just anyone else have a problem with the "me" contact not associating itself properly with facebook?