If you just purchased it today, you have 29 more days to learn about your new phone, and keep it, and love it. Or you can return it and try something else that is more what you're looking for.
If living in the google cloud doesn't appeal to you, the Droid is not going to sit well with you.
What I admire is people that "don't understand" why things work the way they do, but are indignant about why it should work differently. Quite amusing.
The iPhone, Blackberries, the Pre, and Android, all in one fashion or another keep you "connected" in one way or another. It is the whole point about "being connected, anytime and anywhere"
Getting your e-mail "in real time" is the *point* of these devices, and yes, in order to do so the phone has to store and maintain a login to your account... this isn't confusing... it is LOGICAL. If you want to protect your e-mail... then LOCK THE PHONE. That isn't a "patch" or a workaround... it is how things work on a smart phone, and has been for longer than Android has been around. Why is this so confusing?