Laugh of the day!

[me just sayin]

Interview between a female broadcaster and US Army General Reinwald -



This has got to be the all-time classic comeback.
This is an exact recount of US National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

GENERAL REINWALD: 'We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how. They'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: " But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

 

[redbert31]

Interview between a female broadcaster and US Army General Reinwald -



This has got to be the all-time classic comeback.
This is an exact recount of US National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

GENERAL REINWALD: 'We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how. They'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm."

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: " But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

That was a really good funny!

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[me just sayin]

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar.

Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.

At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station, this breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

 

[me just sayin]

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that the skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover that she still could not do it. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step, and once again, she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.

So, with a coy little smile to the driver, she again unzipped the offending skirt to give her a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, the big Texan that was behind her in line, picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.

Well, she went ballistic and turned to the would be hero, screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body? I don't even know who you are!"

At this, the Texan drawled, "Well Ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."

 

[me just sayin]

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy." Now the father was messing his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

 

[me just sayin]

A little kid walks into a city bus for a Halloween night and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling: ''If my dad was a ghost and my mom a ghost, I'd be a little ghost.'

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with: ''If my dad was an dracula and my mom a dracula, I would be a little dracula.''

The kid goes on with a devil, witch, demon… until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid: ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says: ''I would be a bus driver!''

 

[me just sayin]

The Queen of England and the Pope are guests of honour at the Annual England vs Ireland Soccer Match.

Both are getting right into the feel of things and the Queen leans over to the Pope and says, "I bet I can make all the English People in the crowd cheer wildly with a simple hand gesture."

The Pope looks at her disbelievingly, so the Queen does her famous wave and all the English people in the crowd cheer wildly as one.

The Pope leans over and says to the Queen, "That was nothing...I bet I can make all of the Irish People in the crowd party wildy for a week with just the nod of my head."

The Queens says, "Well that is totally unbelievable - let's see."

A split second later the Pope head butts her......

 

[bruben7886]

^^^ priceless! [emoji23][emoji23]

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

 

[me just sayin]

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

The rest of the story is not pleasant.

 

[redbert31]

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

The rest of the story is not pleasant.

I didn't see that coming! Good one

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[me just sayin]

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He then proceeded to tell her in graphic detail the mechanics of sex.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.

 

[redbert31]

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He then proceeded to tell her in graphic detail the mechanics of sex.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.

Haha... That one crept up on me.. Didn't see that coming either. Good one

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[me just sayin]

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring jerk of a husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the ass. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that! some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...

Signed,
a menopausal wife

 

[redbert31]

Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.

My unfeeling and uncaring jerk of a husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the ass. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that! some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...

Signed,
a menopausal wife

Haha! [emoji322][emoji322]

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

 

[me just sayin]

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner... NOW!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop."