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I am looking for the same kind of app. I use my droid as a alarm clock so I need the sound on, but I dont want to be woke up in the night by a email notification.
I use an app called Timeriffic to silence the notifications at a certain time (11:30 pm in my case). That way, the ringer will still work, the emails come through, but I won't be disturbed by emails, texts, etc. I set another timer to turn on notifications at 6:00 am. Timeriffic is free at the app market. Set it and forget it.
I use a free app call Auto Ring. It allows you to make a list of certain people that will ring on silent. You can even set it to auto-enable, so every time you put it on silent, it works. So I just silence my phone, but people like my girlfriend, work, family etc will still ring and wake me up.