Since we're on a driving theme---
An old man buys a brand new Convertible Mustang. As he leaves the lot, he give it a little extra gas. The car lurches forward, wind in his hair. Having fun, he decides to really see what it can do and floors it. Before he knows it, he's doing 80 down main street. Suddenly, he sees lights behind him. He steps on it harder. Now going 95, he's weaving in and out of traffic and barely missing pedestrians. The cop stays right on him.
Finally, the old man thinks to himself, "This is crazy. I'm too old for this. What am I doing?" and pulls over.
The State Trooper comes up to the window and takes the man's license, registration, and proof of insurance and goes back to his car to run his information.
Moments later, the Trooper returns, saying, "Sir, I see by your record that you've never had any moving violations before, it's almost the end of my shift, and I already met my quota for this month. If you can give me a legitimately good reason for why you were driving so fast, I'm gonna let you off with a warning."
The man, dead serious, says, "Officer, about 20 years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I was afraid you were bringing her back."
