Who Buys Their Kid A Smart Phone?

[hookbill]

I see it all the time in here, and for you kids that see this please don't take offense. What parent, in their right mind buys their kid a smart phone? I don't care it it's Windows Mobile, Blackberry Storm, or Droid. It just doesn't make sense.

I'm not saying don't get your kids nice things. Spoil the hell out of the little rug rats if you want, that's your business. But man, do you not realize that giving a kid a smart phone is giving them almost total unlimited access to the internet. Unsupervised?

I'm not a parent. Never had an interest in kids, and I'm not saying I would do a better job if I did have a child. But I know there is just no way I would give my kid a Droid. A play station, yes. But a phone? they'd get the cheapest phone I could find. With clear instructions that there would be no texting during school hours.

Yet I see kids as young as 13 years old with Droids. Heck even if they got the money to buy their own Droid I still wouldn't let them have one. Confiscated until they are 18 (by then they wouldn't want the Droid):icon_ devil:

I have heard from some kids who say that they have proven to their parents that they are responsible enough and have got their parents trust. I wouldn't do it, just too much stuff out there for them to get in trouble with.

That's my opinion. I'd be happy to hear yours if you agree with me or disagree with me.

 

[AtlPikMan]

I gotta say i totally agree with you. My 13Yr old daughter saw my Droid yesterday and she told me that i always get the cool things. She wanted to know why she couldn't have one. I told her, I have thins and whatever else i can afford because "I have a job, I pay taxes"...lol.

My wife wants our daughter to have a contract phone. I'm against it so it ain't gonna happen. She like most girls has an end less friends list. I thinking we will give her a pre-pay phone as a test to see hot she dos and decide from there.

EDIT..I also wanted to say my daughter wanted a Facebook page, according to her all her friends has one. We decided to allow this...I only allow this because i monitor her page..meaning i log onto it and read what ever. I post all her pics(i also take them, photography is a hobby of mine).

 

[christim]

I just finished a post saying we over protect our kids. We drive them everywhere whereas I'd hitchhike across town. We put helmets on their heads and even pass laws requiring others to do the same. We wrap them up in little coccoons trying to not let anything happen to little johnny and then when they get older they don't understand the risks of life.

You make a valid point about the internet. There are environments that if we put/showed kids we'd be regarded as creeps and most likely be in violation of a law or two. Give them a phone and there's a good chance they are going to find some of that stuff anyways.

However...don't give them the phone and unless you are always around your 13-17 year old there's a good chance they have the opportunity at some hour of the day to peek at stuff on the household PC too. It's just too hard to lock it all down all of the time. Think of the control your parents had over you. Every kid does stuff their parents don't know...or think their parents don't know.

But you are right..an internet enabled phone makes all of those things much easier. Of course, I've read about the texts and images sent back and forth on non-internet phones. I don't know about you but the last thing I'd do is send a pic of myself to everyone at school. Some things have changed. (not that I'm saying everyone does this)

 

[christim]

ps: I guess I'll add that I'm glad my kids are over 18 and I don't have to worry about that anymore

 

[Rizz]

I agree I got my 14 year old just a basic phone that he can text on thank God for unlimited text this kid is using over 2000 text a month its crazy!!!! If I wasn't locked into this contract I would terminate his contract and just argue with my wife about it later. But yeah a smart phone is way to much for a kid.

 

[TimChgo9]

Raising kids in this day and age is quite the challenge.

The digital media that is available today wasn't even considered when I was the same age as my youngest kids. (8 and 9) and the problem with today's media, and delivery systems, is that it is way to accessible to kids.

The point that you can't watch the kids all of the time is valid. I know what I got away with at various ages, and I fully expect my children do, and have done the same. I have five kids, oldest are 21, 19, and 17, and the youngest are 8 and 9. My oldest kids didn't grow up in a "digital household" like my younger ones are. The girlfriend and I both have smart phones, we have four computers in the house of varying ages, and two laptops, all connected wirelessly, we have U-Verse TV with a box in the basement, living room, and two bedrooms but not in the kid's bedroom. They have a TV with a DVD/VCR and that's it.

The simplest solution I have found is to password protect everything. The TV is locked out according to channel and program content. The kids have accounts for the home computers, but I hold the passwords, and when my youngest son (9) surfs the net, I have to keep an eye on him because he clicks on everything and anything, and he has wound up at places on the net that he shouldn't have been. My 17 year old and hers (she has a 17 year old from her first marriage) both know the passwords to the TV's and the computers. Since they are 17, they have the access, but the access has been shut down when we discovered one of them was visiting places that we don't approve of, and they foolishly left the evidence in the history for me to find. I have since installed a keystroke logger on the computer they use the most to keep an eye on things. They were cut off for six months, and had to use the computer supervised in that time period.

Back in the day, when my buddies and I wanted pornography, we just about had to launch a Special Forces operation just to acquire magazine. I had an older brother who had a bunch of "dirty magazines" under his bed, and getting to those took some doing. However, in this day and age, it's just a few keystrokes away. It's the same with TV, we don't have movie channels, but that doesn't mean that there aren't objectionable shows on the other channels (Family Guy, South Park), As well as some racy "reality shows". On our TV's everything above TV Y7 is locked out, so the kids don't stumble across something that isn't good for them while channel surfing. There are other advantages to having everything locked out: It means the kids can't watch TV until I say so. Long gone are the days where they would get out of bed, and just turn the TV on and sit like lumps. Now, with the TV and computers locked out, if they want to play WebKinz, Toontown, or their favorite game, or watch their favorite shows, they have to get work done... It took some time, but it works.

I can't see any reason why children under the age of 16 need a cell phone. Both 17 year olds have their own phones. My son works, and pays for his. My girlfriend's son has his phone through his dad's contract, but it's a basic phone, no camera, and he has no texting ability either. Getting a 13 year old smart phone is not a good idea. Kids will be kids, and boys will definitely be boys... Nothing good can come from a kid that young and a smart phone. I wouldn't do it, but every parent is different.

As parent it is our duty, our responsibility to limit what are kids are exposed to until they are of appropriate age. I feel very strongly about this, and do my level best to keep the kids away from things that they shouldn't see until they are older. Maybe I am too strict in some ways, but, then, they are my kids, and therefore, MY responsibility.

 

[R1Lover]

Depriving your kids of technology is not the answer, RAISING your kids properly is the answer. You have to remember that your children will become adults at one point, instilling proper morals in them at a young age is key.

You do realize that kids at 14 these days are having sex right? even 25 years ago they were at 15.... so saying a 14 year old is not old enough to have a smart phone is wrong imo. Again the answer here is being a good parent and teaching your kids to be responsible.

 

[cabagekiller]

I don't see how some of you can shelter your kids so much. I may not have any experience at anything like that.(I'm only 19.) But when I was raised, we never had restrictions on anything. So I would often play Diablo 2 until about 3 in the morning in the summer. I often looked at those things everyone deems "inappropriate" and all that good stuff, but thing is that I grew bored of it because it wasn't really viewed as taboo in my house.
Now one of my friends is really sheltered and she isn't really allowed to do anything. This is really bad from what I have seen. As soon as she could, she basically lost control and did everything you would consider wrong basically.
Like what a poster a few spots ahead of me said, you need to instill moral values in your children, not ban them from things because that will make it more enticing to do. Values is what it is all about, if they learn these early, you wouldn't need to block them. But blocking them makes it feel like they are sneaky if they go to whatever it is. But this is just a humble 19 year olds opinion.

 

[Backnblack]

A good topic...Last time this was brought up it was shut down as it got out of hand.

How people raise their own kids is a powder keg like politics....

Please keep this civil

 

[patriot839]

. I'm a different kind of parent I have seen kids that weren't allowed candy in the house and as soon as they got of age all they want to eat is candy. I believe that goes for all things if you shelter them to much they can't naturally have the ability to protect them selves in the future by making good choices now that being said kids imo should be exposed to real life choices as early as possible keeping in some mind age appropriate and mental growth so they can understand the the exposure and be walked thrue how to to make good choices when things happen. I am a yung parent 27yo father of one boy 6. I try everyday to let him make choices now if I feel that he has made the wrong one I explain why its not the best choice and then I allow him to tell me what he thinks so he can process in his own mind what we talked about. Up to this point when he goes to the park or bike riding with his friends and the older kids in the neibor hood he has been allowed to take one of my cobra two way radios that we use for four wheeling to stay in contact with me but this year he will be able to get a cell phone somthing very basic like we did with his laptop he started with vtech to learn basic computer skills and to show us he knew how to treat his stuff he now has his own PC with parental controls set with limited supervised access he is in kindegarten and the only kid who does not need constant help in the computer. Lab so it has paid off when I feel he is ready he will upgrade to a smartphone. Our kids in this day of technology have to learn how to be tech savvy early and responsible if we don't show them or atleast teach them about the dangers involved they will not be able to identify these and other dangers on there own they will be bound to get in trouble or worse in their future. I could go on and on but I won't. I'm sure I am not a perfect parent none of us are and people will disagree with me that's ok. I just hope that all of our children nomatter how they are raised are given the chance to live long healthy productive lives

 

[TimChgo9]

I don't consider my kids sheltered. I grew up in, and we have been to varying degrees, a firefighting family. My dad was a firefighter, and fire chief, I was a firefighter, EMT, and a 9-1-1 operator of many years experience. I have seen, and heard quite a bit. My girlfriend (mother of the two youngest) is a nurse. "Sheltered" is not a word I would use. My kids know there is real world out there. Their oldest brother is a soldier, he isn't yet, but will be in Iraq, or Afghanistan sooner than later.

I teach my kids moral responsibility, honesty, integrity... I am big on following rules, and rules applying to everyone equally. I give my kids respect, and they give it back. We work to make clear that breaking rules has consequences. When a public scandal breaks, I use that as an example of what happens to people who decide to "break the rules" . For a 9 year old my youngest son has a better understanding of the world than some of his contemporaries.

However, there are things kids should not see, until they are old enough. Sex, for starters.. yeah, say what you want, but it's my house and my rules. Excessive, or pointless violence. "Slasher" movies. I have seen parents take five year olds to movies like "The Ring" or "Halloween". Things like that can traumatize young kids, besides, I don't think slasher movies, or horror movies in general are good for anyone. Music with obscene or violent lyrics. I choose what my kids listen to. "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael (Yeah, I;m dating myself) is not appropriate for 9 year old ears...period. We listen to Christian rock music, and some contemporary "mainstream" music, but if I don't think it's appropriate, the kids don't listen to it.

We have discussions around here on morality, following rules, and respecting others. I live my life that way. I open doors for people, say "yes sir" and "yes ma'am". I show kindness, courtesy and respect to other people at all times, but, especially around the kids. I try to follow the example my dad set for me when I was a young.

Are we a "perfect" family? Hardly. No one is. Being a blended family has it's challenges. Am I perfect? No, but I try to be better than I was both as a person and as a parent. My girlfriend and I go back 17 years, we were married, separated/divorced for a few years, and we got back together 2 years ago, and plan to remarry.

I believe as a parent you are a teacher, guardian and disciplinarian. I use every, and I mean every opportunity to teach the kids something, whether it be a life lesson, or something about the world around them.

I have discovered, that if a child is raised without morals, limits, or checks on their behavior, they will grow up thinking that they can do anything they want, whenever they want, and no one has any authority to tell them what to do...... I worked in Law Enforcment for a couple of years. I have seen it.

 

[R1Lover]

I don't consider my kids sheltered. I grew up in, and we have been to varying degrees, a firefighting family. My dad was a firefighter, and fire chief, I was a firefighter, EMT, and a 9-1-1 operator of many years experience. I have seen, and heard quite a bit. My girlfriend (mother of the two youngest) is a nurse. "Sheltered" is not a word I would use. My kids know there is real world out there. Their oldest brother is a soldier, he isn't yet, but will be in Iraq, or Afghanistan sooner than later.

I teach my kids moral responsibility, honesty, integrity... I am big on following rules, and rules applying to everyone equally. I give my kids respect, and they give it back. We work to make clear that breaking rules has consequences. When a public scandal breaks, I use that as an example of what happens to people who decide to "break the rules" . For a 9 year old my youngest son has a better understanding of the world than some of his contemporaries.

However, there are things kids should not see, until they are old enough. Sex, for starters.. yeah, say what you want, but it's my house and my rules. Excessive, or pointless violence. "Slasher" movies. I have seen parents take five year olds to movies like "The Ring" or "Halloween". Things like that can traumatize young kids, besides, I don't think slasher movies, or horror movies in general are good for anyone. Music with obscene or violent lyrics. I choose what my kids listen to. "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael (Yeah, I;m dating myself) is not appropriate for 9 year old ears...period. We listen to Christian rock music, and some contemporary "mainstream" music, but if I don't think it's appropriate, the kids don't listen to it.

We have discussions around here on morality, following rules, and respecting others. I live my life that way. I open doors for people, say "yes sir" and "yes ma'am". I show kindness, courtesy and respect to other people at all times, but, especially around the kids. I try to follow the example my dad set for me when I was a young.

Are we a "perfect" family? Hardly. No one is. Being a blended family has it's challenges. Am I perfect? No, but I try to be better than I was both as a person and as a parent. My girlfriend and I go back 17 years, we were married, separated/divorced for a few years, and we got back together 2 years ago, and plan to remarry.

I believe as a parent you are a teacher, guardian and disciplinarian. I use every, and I mean every opportunity to teach the kids something, whether it be a life lesson, or something about the world around them.

I have discovered, that if a child is raised without morals, limits, or checks on their behavior, they will grow up thinking that they can do anything they want, whenever they want, and no one has any authority to tell them what to do...... I worked in Law Enforcment for a couple of years. I have seen it.

Props to you for being a good parent, if everyone was like this, it would be such a better place.

 

[hookbill]

TimChgo9 I don't want to put words in your mouth. Are you saying that you don't feel it's a good idea for a child to have a smart phone? That is the subject of the thread.

 

[Hugh Jass]

I don't see how some of you can shelter your kids so much. I may not have any experience at anything like that.(I'm only 19.) But when I was raised, we never had restrictions on anything. So I would often play Diablo 2 until about 3 in the morning in the summer. I often looked at those things everyone deems "inappropriate" and all that good stuff, but thing is that I grew bored of it because it wasn't really viewed as taboo in my house.
Now one of my friends is really sheltered and she isn't really allowed to do anything. This is really bad from what I have seen. As soon as she could, she basically lost control and did everything you would consider wrong basically.
Like what a poster a few spots ahead of me said, you need to instill moral values in your children, not ban them from things because that will make it more enticing to do. Values is what it is all about, if they learn these early, you wouldn't need to block them. But blocking them makes it feel like they are sneaky if they go to whatever it is. But this is just a humble 19 year olds opinion.

Same for me. Forcing something only causes rebellion. Not only on a single person base, but on any scale and at any age.

As for the smartphone debate, it being "smart" hasn't a damn thing to do with anything to be perfectly honest. I've had "dumb" phones for years and I could access anything on them that I can access on my Droid really (shy of a majority of video porn). What portal do you all think a "smart" phone is giving kids access to exactly?

 

[smalltowngirl13]

My daughter who is 13 has a smart phone (HTC Imagio) - so to answer your question - I did. Does she truly use the features of the smart phone - no. Does she surf the web on it - a bit but not much. She uses it more for facebook, texting, listening to music and calling friends & family. Can I see where it could lead to problems - yes - but as it has been indicated in this thread and others - they have more access to the internet than we did at their age whether it be in our homes, a friends house, the library, etc. We have regular discussions about what is right and what is wrong and do I expect there to be mistakes made - yeah (heck I know adults who possibly should not own a smartphone)....but if something of value is learned, it becomes a life lesson. I can safely say that my daughter understands there are consequences to wrong actions and she also understands prohibited sites on the internet. We talk quite often - the phone was a replacement to me (LOL) and she has told me both times someone she did not know wanted to add her as a friend in FB. Altho my daughter is very tech savvy, she does not delete the history in her browser - so I can review it when I wish and she knows that I would question any strange sites. I will finish my post in saying - trusting your kids and showing them responsibility can never start when they are too young...As my daughter gets older, I might have to edit my post (LOL) but I would not regret my action of allowing her a smartphone at this age.