Well, it sure would be nice to know which phone you're talking about. Why not take a moment to go to the User CP and fill in your phone information for our future reference. Thanks.
As far as which rom? Different roms work better on different phones. I like the one in my sig, it was easy to set up. I'm now trying out CyanogenMod 6.1.2 (actually build 266) and it has a ton of customizations, and is pretty solid.
If you want to get an idea of which rom not to use, hang out in the rescuw squad area for a week or three.