Okay - cool post! Very witty. But I would also add that I just happen to know what those three friends were doing. They were texting each other so that you couldn't read their lips. The text messages went something like this:
"Don't look up, but there's a weirdo standing across the street staring at us. He's been there for the past ten minutes, and has not once looked anywhere but at us"
"Oh geez, you keep an eye on him - but keep your head down so he doesn't know you are aware of him. Meanwhile - I'm going to call 911 and tell them we have a stalker"
"Okay - and I'll text Mom and let her know what's happening in case the police call her"
"That's good! Oh no! He looks like he's coming closer!"
"OMG! I'm getting scared! Why is his hand in his pocket? You think he has a knife or a gun?"
"I'm not sure, but it looks like he has something very bulky in there, maybe a brick?"
"Or maybe a remote control switch for a bomb or something! I read that's how they blow up these Starbucks cafe's over in England!"
"Oh jeezus willy's! I think I just peed in my pants! Why is he staring at us so intently? I'm really flippin' out here!"
"Okay - I just got the police - they said to sit still, not to look at him and maybe entice him into a confrontation. They should be here in a couple of minutes!"
"Mom is not home - all I got was the answering machine. I'll try texting her cell"
"Wait - he's walking back to the other side again! Maybe he's leaving?"
"No, he's still staring! Man, I really don't like the look on his face! He's definitely got some issues! He's really scaring me now!"
"Can't we just get up and leave? Maybe run into the gym next door? There should be a lot of strong guys in there that can help us!"
"No! The police said not to move! And stop lifting your head - he's going to be onto us if you keep looking up!"
"I'm not lifting my head! I'm still looking straight at my Droid phone, but I can see him in the reflection of the screen! He's still there!"
"Why did we have to skip the last class? We could have been safe inside right now!"
"Hey! You're the one that wanted to get a Grande Mocca! I just came because you told me to! Now look at what's happening! We're gonna die!"
"Yippie! Here comes the police! There driving driving around the corner right now!"
"Does he see them? I'm afraid to look! What if he just pulls a gun and starts shooting?"
"Don't worry! The cops have Glocks in this town! That pyscho doesn't have a prayer!"
"WTH!" The cop just kept going! He didn't even slow down! What are we gonna do now?"
"Keep looking at your screen! Pretend you are doing something - working on a google search for class or something. Just DON"T look up!"
""I'm outta here! I can't take this anymore! I'm running for the gym! Who's with me?"
"Okay - you go first! If he doesn't shoot you, then we'll follow!"
"Gee, thanks! I though you were my friend!"
"Well - you said you were going to abandon us and leave us to that jerk so that he can cut us up into small pieces with that knife in his pocket!"
"Wait! It's not a knife or bomb remote control! It's a Droid! He took it out and is talking to someone! Look - it's okay! He's just another Droidian! Probably was trying to see if we had Droids too!"
"You're right! Oh Man! Am I ever happy and relieved! We're gonna live!"
"Can we go back to class now?"
"Not me - I have to go home and change my pants!"
"Okay - see you in class later! Don't forget to text me when you leave the house! Or leave me an email so's I know when you're on the way back."
"Okay - give me a minute! I have to tell everyone about this on my Facebook page!"
"Can't you just Twitter it? A lot quicker!"
"No - I want to post the pix I took with my Droid camera while nobody was looking! I figured we needed a photo of this jerk to show the cops in case he ran off!"
"Okay - can you picture message me that photo?"
"Sure - here ya go - it's on it's way!"
"Okay - I got it! Wow! Great picture! You know -that guys not bad looking! He's kinda sexy now that I look at the photo!"
"Damn! He's already gone! Did you see where he went? I want to see if he'll go out with me this weekend!"
"Did you have Buzz on at the time? Maybe he did too and you can find him that way!"
And so on and so forth....
mikey
