I dont know that I would jump right into a factory reset. I say that because this is a D1 forum you have posted in, I see you have a DX. Unlike our DXs, he D1 has issues with a lack of memory and with GB being a memory hog, things like this happen.
I would suggest actually locking your messaging app into memory first. I dont know the exact places to do this in PE settings since I am not running it but from when I was porting my themes to it I know it had to the options to do this. If you are using the stock mms just lock it, but if you are using something like handcent you could lock that as well for safe measure.
ok ill try locking it in. i just wiped and reinstalled the rom to see if that would help also. it only seems to be happeing with one person so maybe its something on there end. i will post more if anything improves. thanks for the help!