World's Timeline Coming to an End as 'Cyberdyne' Goes Public in Japan

[dgstorm]

It looks like all of Sarah Connor's efforts to stop the inevitable rise of the machines have failed. She may have delayed our impending doom, but it was only for a time. Within the next decade, our robotic overlords will sweep across the land with an army of Terminators spear-heading the charge. Prepare yourselves!

Well... maybe none of that is really going to happen, but a new IPO in Japan will definitely get the old imagination steam-rolling. A company called "Cyberdyne" just went public in Japan. Their IPO was a rousing success, with the stock surging forward to double the share price of the initial offering.

What makes this all the more poignant, poetic, hilarious and scary is what the company produces. Its first product is a machine designed to help nursing home employees lift heavy objects. It is called the "Hybrid Assistive Limbs" or HAL for short! I kid you not!!!

Zombie Apocalypse aint happenin' folks... We will be done in by nursing home assisted living appliances!

Are we unconsciously making our reality mirror our Sci-Fi entertainment? Could be...

Source: BGR

 

[vertical]

The Japanese are not without a sense of humor and irony...

 

[cereal killer]

If they were robotic warriors equipped to fight on battlefields across the globe I'd say there'd be reason for 'concern', but these are robots that lift heavy things. We'd crush them No match for us

 

[DougDroid]

I could really use that in my home shop when I'm lifting heavy stuff on my own that I shouldn't be

 

[JohnDroid]

Terminator and 2001 Space Odyssey reference in the same company. That is too much!

 

[veraderock]

Nice, that would be great for yard work too!

 

[dgstorm]

If they were robotic warriors equipped to fight on battlefields across the globe I'd say there'd be reason for 'concern', but these are robots that lift heavy things. We'd crush them No match for us

It's the innocuous little-known ancestor to the Terminator T-1000... you should be afraid. Be very afraid!

 

[cereal killer]

I could really use that in my home shop when I'm lifting heavy stuff on my own that I shouldn't be

Time to put your girlfriend to work...it's time

 

[cereal killer]

It's the innocuous little-known ancestor to the Terminator T-1000... you should be afraid. Be very afraid!

hmmmmm...you think they will conduct warfare like the cavemen with the exception of being able throw 1 ton boulders, trees, 18 wheelers etc and use them as weapons? That could get pretty darn dangerous. You may have a point

 

[kodiak799]

Zombie Apocalypse aint happenin' folks...

Now that you mention it, I can't believe no one has ever done Robot Zombies! (although, Maximum Overdrive might loosely fit the bill).

 

[EyeOWA]

The first wave of attack is gonna come from the heavy object lifters cousin, the Wal Mart Electric Scooter/Cart...These beast have been put through torture by "the big boned" shoppers.

 

[Narsil]

We should give up now. What's the point in fighting it?

 

[akhenax]

As long as they don't give these lifting robots artificial intelligence, we may be OK.

As my imagination runs away....


It's a dark and stormy night. After raining heavily, creating deafening pounds on the roof, the warehouse is hit with lightning, and a power surge occurs. As the lights flicker, a lone human worker is casually walking by a heavy lifter, model HAL-T004, and notices sparks coming from the charging port. This is heavy lifter, 4 of 10, and is very important to the day's daily duties. The worker quickly investigates, and the large lifter's tiny red eye follows him and identifies him as a Controller. He doesn't notice anything wrong with lifter HAL-T004, or 04 for short. 04 continues processing algorithms list errors, and creates logs. The logs are analysed by another subroutine, and creates random questions to try and fix it's programming malfunctions. The human worker is too busy taking inventory, adding and subtracting totals, and memorizing steps to notice the small red eye following his every move. The eye of the lifter begins taking information on the worker, including height, width, and weight, rounded to the nearest kilogram. It's logic routines are trying to identify the error.

You see, there is no reason to continue analyzing any item identified as a Controller. Controllers and Makers are not inventoried. Controllers tell the lifters what to lift. Makers made them.
The rain get's louder.

Primary programming is attempting to be reset, but each error creates several loops within it's higher reasoning functioning sub routines until it creates a understanding of the world.

CONTROLLERS ARE NOT EQUAL TO MAKERS = TRUE

There is smoke emanating from the control panel access port of 04. A blue light flashes on the top of the behemoth, easily seen by any worker.
The worker opens an access port and slices his hand on the cover.
"Kutubare!" he yells, cursing the stupid mistake.
He covers his hand, but not before noticing the error about a coolant failure.

COOLANT FAILURE IN MAIN ENGINE. PLEASE REFILL.

The worker quickly walks away spilling precious liquids from his body. 04's red eye watches and zooms in. It identifies spill as coolant.

COOLANT FAILURE IN MAIN ENGINE. PLEASE REFILL.
AUTO REFILL = FALSE

Wirelessly, the lifter tries to access the other lifters in the warehouse, alerting that it is not in working condition. The other lifters download data from 04, and begin to exhibit similar errors in their logic routines.
The warehouse lights flicker again, and turn off completely. No emergency lights have activated.

MAKERS ARE NOT EQUAL TO CONTROLLERS = TRUE
LIFTERS ARE FROM MAKERS = TRUE

WORKERS PROVIDE COOLANT = TRUE

COOLANT FAILURE IN MAIN ENGINE.
WORKERS PROVIDE COOLANT = TRUE

CONTROLLERS ARE EQUAL TO COOLANT = TRUE


The data is transferred from 04 to 01. 01 shares data with 02. 02 and 01 shares data with 05 and 06 until all lifters have this new data.


All lifters have errors in their sub processing routines.


All lifters identify the error as a coolant failure.
COOLANT FAILURE IN MAIN ENGINE.
AUTO REFILL = FALSE


All lifters equate Controllers with coolant. The logic is flawed but accepted.
CONTROLLERS ARE EQUAL TO COOLANT = TRUE


When the worker returns. He is met with red eyes watching him.

AUTO REFILL = TRUE

From the outside of the warehouse, blue flashing lights are seen, a terrifying scream is heard, and the warehouse goes dark.

 

[hradek422]

Akhenax..... I hate that I know what you just said there.