Confessions of a Sound Technician (Funny)

Discussion in 'Off Topic Forum' started by Fault, Jun 16, 2010.

  1. Fault
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    Fault New Member

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    Hey guys. I have been working as a sound technician for about 10 years, and i have run into a lot of pretty funny things over the years. For those of you that dont know, (at least my job) i sit in a sound booth in theaters, and control the microphones and audio. The board I work on can have up to 24 channels (24 microphones) and its a bit chaotic at times. One of the best things about a soundboard is the 'que' option. This allows you to preview what is being heard on the microphone, without turning it on in the house speakers, just in my headphones. In other words, someone can talk into their mike, i can hear it, but it wont be in the house.

    Actors and speakers sometimes say the funniest things while they are off stage, and sometimes when its a slow rehersal, boring part of the show, or i just need to check microphones, I hear hilarious things when I que them up. I thought Id share a few with you:

    -During the sound of music, during the most intimate part of the show, 10 people left the stage, and the female lead entered the stage. I turned her on, but also accidently cued up the microphone next to her. Over my headphones, I heard the male lead backstage playing with a fart machine, nearly right into the microphone. Thank god my finger didnt turn on the microphone, or the crowd of 1000 people would have been greeted with a very loud fart

    -"Its not rape if you say surprise"

    -A very elaborate story about a movie with a tree that is possesed and rapes people

    -Someone explaining Deathbed: The Bed that Eats People

    -(A guy saying this) "so I was bent over... (had to switch microphones for a second)... and he was just behind me thrusting...it felt odd at first...but it was a good thing there was an electrical outlet nearby"

    -During a rehersal, I turned on 9 people's microphone, to hear heavy breathing and moaning, because one of the actresses (who was supposed to be onstage) was back stage making out and being felt up by her boyfriend. I turned the microphone as loud as it could go, and turned off everyone elses microphone, so in the house we heard her say "Oh Sam... Oh wait is my microphone on? ****" She ran on stage and everyone just laughed and clapped

    -"How did you get that stuck in there? Does it hurt?"

    -"If that old geezer doesnt shut up, Im gonna hit him with my mag light"

    I have a lot more, but thats what I can think of for now
  2. Sam
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    Sam Premium Member Premium Member

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    wasn't me... :icon_eek:
  3. Sam
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    Sam Premium Member Premium Member

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    i actually used to do a little sound work too.. that's probably what started my obsession with audio SQ and really expensive headphones. my wallet hurts.
  4. Fault
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    Fault New Member

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    I know exactly what you mean. Im not a sound tech anymore (well Im still employed, but I dont work) but I DJ now. I have about $3000 worth of sound equipment, I love audio stuff. Its fairly easy, fun, stressful, but in a good way
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