I stopped in at Wal-Mart to get some vitamins for my brain and some corn beef hash. I had wanted to get more sardines because the ones I had at home were from a warehouse store and I don’t like them as much but sadly they did not make it onto my mental list until I was thinking back on the visit. It took me a while to find the DHA supplements I was looking for to help lessen the effect of my ADD, but eventually I made my way to the canned meat aisle.
As I was looking for my beloved hash meat, I saw on the floor ahead of me across the aisle, what looked like a hundred dollar bill folded in half! “Woo!” I thought and froze in the face of my good fortune. It was one of those new ones with the large portrait and I could see most of Franklin’s face as it was folded almost exactly at the tip of his nose.
To my horror, a large woman with peach colored hair approached my yet unclaimed hondo. In her mouth, was one of those cigarette stalk things you would see in Cruella De Vil’s possession. It had a cigarette in it but it was not lit of course. “Why carry it around in the store like you were smoking?” I mused. Distracting as her appearance was, my main concern was whether or not we were going to argue about my money, because at that point SHE was closer to being one C-note richer than I was. Since she was looking down at what presumably was her grocery list, it was a very real possibility she would see it before she passed it. My heart pounded and I had a sudden inspiration. “Do you know where the corned beef hash is?” I said very pleased with myself. Annoyed, she looked up and pointed, “Ain’t that it there?” I was so glad I outfoxed this cantankerous woman because she would have just bought more clown makeup with MY money! Politely, I said my thank you and waited for her to walk by.
Two quick steps, and I was in position to claim my prize. My cell phone rang. I ignored it. As I started to kneel to snatch it up, I felt a hand on my shoulder.