Dealing with depression
To clear things up, I am not the one dealing with depression, but someone I know is. Some background....
14 year old kid who is the son of my dad's coworker (they're friends) went through major depression about 2 months ago. I guess his mom walked out on them and he had a pretty severe head injury where the frontal lobe was damaged. He was an extremely intelligent and athletic kid, got the injury through a wrestling incident through a horrible decision by his coach (had to wrestle a kid 30lbs more his weight and a varsity member). So due to injury his motor skills, problem solving skills, etc. all were slowed down (say he used to be a 4 lane highway, now he's a 2-way road). Now I spent most of last Friday with this kid, at the request of his father, and he seemed happy and "normal". However, due to the major depression he went through he is now on SSRIs (anti-depressant, wiki it if you're really interested, as a psych major I find it fascinating), but he's basically "on the edge" when it comes to being "normal" and depressed. Some days he feels like doing stuff, other days he doesn't. Well I just found out today that he unfortunately got checked back into rehab, so he relapsed. Barely 3 weeks out of a 6-week therapy program and I just saw the kid just a few days ago, I'm sitting here kind of shocked. As a psych major I learned about this kind of stuff, but it just hits home when you know somebody going through it, and at such a young age. At 14, my care was beating certain levels in a videogame or making sure I didn't "miss the game". This kid had dreams of going to medical school, going to a good college, making a sports team, and all that is hundreds of times harder because of what he went through and the damage to his brain.
I'm not asking to be consoled or get any sympathy, but I just want others to know sometimes we got it good. So if you know someone that's going through a rough patch, just be there for them, seriously. I was looking forward to hearing from him and his dad of possibly hanging out with him again, but since this news came up who knows what happens next. Don't know, still kinda surprised at this news, but just wanted to vent I guess.
Wow.... Man, I'm so sorry... That's really, really rough. I hope everything goes well with him; and I appreciate you sharing this story because it really makes you realize how fortunate you are.
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I hope everything turns out well for him and his dad, they're really good people. I don't know either of them very well to be honest, but when he asked me to hang out with his kid for a day both were nothing but open and kind to me. I felt I did the right thing by trying to help out his kid and giving him some time to go out himself, but the situation just took a bad turn obviously. I know the kid was going through alot, especially in school (missed 2 months of school for therapy) so maybe that got to him, but I don't know the details. It just hit home pretty hard for me, makes me thankful for everything I have and my health. Guess it was a "wake up call" for me. Just needed to vent and figure someone might have gone through the same thing or knows someone who is.
My prayers are with the kid. And its tough because we all deal with depression at some time in our lives and it can be debilitating.
Just try to be there for the kid and the family. All you can do is be a friend. If you can talk to them about getting some therapy, if the dad goes..the kid will too. They need community support to get through this. Invite them over your house wiht your family for dinners, outtings. Get them involved in the community and they will not feel so isolated and alone. Tell him about the millions of other kids who live happily in one parent households. There are kids with amputations and brain injuries who are still productive and happy and live great lives. Remind him that the best years of his life are ahead of him. Tell him you felt insecure and depressed as a teen too, we all go through that in our teens years. It helps. Get them professional help.
Dezymond thanks for sharing this intimate story. I count my blessings everyday and don't complain about anything. Thanks again.....
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His dad has spent thousands on him for therapy, it ain't cheap. Not to mention the fact he is on anti-depressants. His dad has sacrificed so much to help him and he said he's grateful, but there's just some things out of his control. I don't know what it's like to be almost a "shell of yourself", but I imagine that's what he's going through. His dad has his own stresses to overcome on top of caring/helping his son. Bad situation all-around, but I said I'd be there for them if they need anything.
Originally Posted by Global
The only depressions I've gone through is loss of family member or a breakup and I usually bounce back fairly quickly, normal things we all go through. I can't imagine my mom or dad walking out on the family or receiving slight brain damage doing something I love. I just hope he can recover and find happiness in life again.
That would be extremely hard to deal with. I know all about major depression though. I've recently had a family member go through it. It's extremely hard to cope with. Its taxing to say the least. It wound up causing a mental break.
You can't be rational with an irrational person.... you have know idea how hard that is to stomach until you yourself see a loved one that is babbling incoherently about something that you know is fallacy. Something in their mind.
And then the aftermath after the diagnosis, during the treatment.... the ups and downs... its heart breaking to say the least.
I feel for the family, I feel for what you see every day in your profession. Training only gets ya so far, the rest is guts.
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No problem. Just wanted to get it off my chest I guess. Let others know how lucky we are or if anyone can give me advice or give someone going through depression some support. A bit of a downer for a thread, but you have to admit, alot of people aren't really aware of it until they're in the situation themselves so some exposure is nice.
Originally Posted by cereal killer
I can only imagine one of my family members or a close friend of mine going through depression. I just met this kid and his dad a couple times throughout the years and I can't believe it's hitting me this hard. Could be due to the fact that I'm learning about it in one of my classes right now, but the fact I know someone going through it is enough for it to hit home.
Originally Posted by 94lt1
You're right that I have no idea how it is to deal with someone who is majorly depressed. I can only imagine what you went through and what your family did. I hope everything turned out for the better. Stay strong for yourself and especially for them. Once they get out of their depression they'll be more than grateful for the support you've provided.
Thanks for sharing... like you said, a reminder to keep our perspective in check and not take the little things for granted.