I love that it got such a good laugh from the audience. Shows that it's not just a few people on the Internet who know about their problems. It's mainstream enough that a nationally broadcast TV show can poke fun at them.
A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
Only the Skilled Survive
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Drill Sergeant Frick's Rules For Un-armed Combat.
1. Never be unarmed.
2. See Rule #1
USMC rule # 23 of gunfighting: Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.