Well after futzing with freakin' Exchange Activesync and my new Droid for the last few days, I got everything working including syncing my calendar. Here is what I did -- hope this helps.
First of all, since I am an individual who has my own Exchange Server (2003) running at home, I was able to tweak to my heart's content. I made sure the boxes that force password policies (i.e. requiring a PIN) were unchecked.
This site was enormously helpful: https://www.testexchangeconnectivity.com/
I ran the tests to see what my Exchange Server was doing. Turns out that the exchange-oma setting must be set up without SSL/certificates or forms-based authentication. I had to set up another "Exchange Virtual Server" to do this. Once I did, and restarted IIS, everything starting flying into my phone!
These other links may be invaluable to you:
Exchange ActiveSync returned an HTTP 500 Error
Exchange ActiveSync and Outlook Mobile Access errors occur when SSL or forms-based authentication is required for Exchange Server 2003
IT-EYE | FAQ
Now that Exchange Activesync is working, I feel like I have a real Droid phone. I went from almost returning it tomorrow to being elated.
Don't give up - you can do it!!!