I hate musical ringtones, is there anywhere I can get just plain ringtones so I don't look like an idiot when my phone rings in public?
Hmm, interesting request. For years it was the other way around.
But to answer your question, you can use any sond bit as a ringtone. (as long as they are in one of the supported formats: AAC, AAC+, eAAC, eAAC+, MP3, OGG and WAV).
MP3, WAV and OGG are the most common and easiest to find. I did a quick google search for "Old phone ringtones" and some old midi tones popped up. (You have to convert those). Good luck