what a rough ride this is, right? I've read a lot of posts on the forum and i am falling inline with your frustrations.
I can't find a post that falls inline with my particular issue, so here goes.
I have two separate gmail accounts that I've added to the Droid that reflect personal and business. Google and iCal are syncing great. I log in, add an event in google and I will see it in iCal and vice versa.
Here's where it gets tricky.
If I add an event in the personal, it will show up in google, and on the Droid.
If I add an event in the business, it will show up in google, but NOT on the droid.
After looking through a ton of settings and such I've found the problem (so I think) but can't/don't know how to fix it.
If I go into settings/accounts & sync I can see both gmail accounts, the personal gives me the option for sync calendar where as the business ONLY shows me contacts and gmail. I have no idea why the calendar option isn't available and I've looked all over in the actual gmail account settings. Anyone have any ideas what i'm missing/overlooking?